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"A little bit of this, a little bit of that, enjoy your visit!"

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Musing on a Saturday...Anal Retentive or decide.

So, I'm in the middle of my adgitizing clicks and in between pages loading, I decide I want some muffins. Yum, you say. Yum I say. So, I get the muffin mix...yes, from a box (because as I specified in another blog, I am NOT Martha Stewart!)...I grab the muffin pans (the throw away aluminum ones...which I never throw away, I reuse and reuse them until they can't be reused again!), next on the list is READING THE DIRECTIONS. These, thankfully, are short, simple and to the point. Next I grab my muffin cups, you know, the colorful paper ones? As I am placing these ingenious little cups into the aluminum muffin pan...I began to realize something...I am either Anal Retentive or I have OCD worse than I thought!

I spent an extra few minutes rearranging these damn paper cups according to color...yellow, pink, blue, yellow, pink, blue!!!!! One of the blue ones was out of sync with the pink and yellow and I felt overly compelled to put the blue in it's sequence of the pink and yellow!

So, while I'm distracting myself with yellow, pink, blue, yellow, pink, blue, I said, "Gosh, that would make a good post for my blog. Then, of course, I started analyzing every little thing I did. I followed the list of directions...which went like this:
1 pkg Muffin Mix
1 egg
1/4 cup of milk
Preheat oven to 400
BLEND ingredients, batter will be lumpy
FILL muffin cups 1/2 full
BAKE 13 - 15 minutes, or until golden brown

See, pretty simple and to the point. I had the muffin mix already (otherwise how would I have known to use eggs and milk?) and assembling the other things was simple. I have no less than 4 measuring cups in this house and do you know...NOT ONE OF THEM HAVE A 1/4 MARKING ON THEM??!! I was debating going to a neighbor to see if they had a measuring cup with this marking, but I didn't want to look as stupid as I'd already felt. I decided to make an executive decision...I filled the measuring cup to just below the 1/3 line...twice and had to hope it wasn't too much.

Next, I broke the eggs. I'll have you know...I really HATE cracking eggs! They're slimy and no matter how careful you (or I am) I always get covered with egg goo and/or have little pieces of egg shell in my recipe. Both happened of course! So, I chase down all the little errant bastard egg shells and then wipe my hands now covered with egg goo AND muffin mix!! (And before I forget, I, for some damn reason, kept wanting to put oil in this mix, thankfully I put the oil back in the cupboard otherwise there would have been oil in it too)

I was proud of myself for thinking to use a whisk to mix the batter and as the box predicted, it was lumpy, and I did try to beat the hell out of those lumps (other than the raspberry pieces in the mix).

An aside here: **The minute my two boys heard me clanging dishes around in the kitchen, they came running. Oh joy, you may think, a mommy/child moment...NOT! I will sit on the floor with them for hours playing with blocks and matchbox cars, I will try to keep them on task when coloring with them (on the paper, not the table, Greyson), I will even suffer the indignities of taking a bath outside of the tub while they are in it trying to drown me. But I WILL NOT involve them in any cooking preparations and that's final! We did this once and I think I still see chocolate cake batter on the wall! So, now you all know how bad of a mommy I am and that I will wait until they around the ages of 9 & 10 to involve them in the cooking process, I can move on now...

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, beating the hell out of the lumps! I forgave myself for leaving the lumps and began to fill the muffin cups. And this was lots of fun...until the batter kept hitting the muffin pan on the outside of the cups! In my mind, the batter is supposed to just flow into the cups, no mess, no fuss. This was the reason, after all, for using the damn paper cups in the first having to wash the muffin pan!! Of course, the aluminum muffin pans are full of "wrinkles" so I tried my best to clean up around the edges of the pan cups. This was useless because of the damn "wrinkles!" Now I still have to wash the muffin pan! You think I am lazy? Well, I'll not be the first to destroy your illusions of me...I AM LAZY.

Now, I've got the batter in the paper cups and set on a cookie sheet (my dear grandma had taught me that one, cake, pie, muffins...anything that can possibly spill over the pan while cooking WILL hit the bottom of the oven and not only create one hell of a mess to clean, but will stink to high heaven during the cooking process and you'll think you're burning your recipe, Thank you, Grandma!). The muffins are baking when my 3 year old came in and said; "The muffins done."

"No." I responded and at that moment, realized that I had forgotten to set the timer on the microwave for the allotted 13 - 15 minutes!! Panic suddenly raced through me...How was I going to know when they were done? When do I take them out? Of course, the directions said "...or until golden brown." I made another executive decision...I set the timer for 13 minutes and would check on them when that time was up. I had started this post during the baking time when suddenly the microwave beeped. I jumped up looking confused, "Already?"

When you're sitting in the doctor's office, 13 minutes can seem like a lifetime, but sitting in front of my computer, 13 minutes went by before I'd even had the directions listed here! Skeptical, I checked the muffins. Sure enough, they were not "golden brown." The anal retentive (or was it the OCD?) in me made me set the microwave for 5 more minutes. During the entire 18 minutes of cooking time, the 3 year old incessantly asked; "The muffins done?"

The microwave beeped again and wallah! Golden brown Raspberry Muffins!! I was not happy to report to the 3 year old that he couldn't have a muffin yet because they were still to hot to touch and he was not happy to hear the news. All is good though at the end of this posting, the muffins cooled fast, the 3 year old got his muffin and I got fodder for my daily post! The 2 year old DID NOT get a muffin of his own because he would have simply decorated the living room floor with it instead of eat it...and this kid LOVES food!! So, being the "not always evil mommy" that I am, I gave him bites from mine, which in reality was all he needed because after a couple of bites he moved on to finish tearing the toys out of his toy box we keep in the living room for the boys to play with. And that, as they say, is another show or fodder for another blog posting someday!

Much Luvz, Witchie!


  1. Jeesh...I am spent just after reading your post...I would say most definitely a little of both...then ...hmm...that would make you human :)

    A very fun read...many thanks and I am happy that all enjoyed the muffins :)

  2. HI :-)
    Following a little late from the Friday Follow! :-)
    You can follow me at
    New Reviews/Giveaways Post Daily!
    Have a great weekend!

  3. Who knew that a post about making muffins could be so darn funny! You definitely have a way with words....great post!

  4. This is a funny post. This is the kind of thing that happens to me when I try to cook anything, especially with the eggs.

  5. D ~ I was spent after writing it! Thanks for visiting!

    Savvy Mom ~ Thanx for following, will be checking you out as soon as I'm done here.

    VKT ~ Thank you so much...I am an aspiring writer at heart...even still, on most days this is my train of thought.

    Ratty ~ I think the hens should be a little more conscientious of us inept humans when spitting those things out!

  6. this is pretty hilarious....VKT is right! "Who knew that a post about making muffins could be so darn funny"!

    btw, thanks for swinging by on my kitchen...great to be here!

  7. Stopping by from Friday Follow to say Hi! I am now a follower!

    Stop by and enter my giveaway for Rachael Ray Bakeware:


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